Emppuholics / Emppuholistit


Yes, it's true, Emppu has his own virtual harem of rabid Emppuholic girls (and even a boy or two) on the Nightwish Forum. We are called the Emppuholics, our motto is "Hell hath no fury like an Emppuholic," and we've all been infected with the OME syndrome. :D

To join us, you must first join the fanlisting (click for those rules), but not all fans of Emppu are Emppuholics! To become an Emppuholic, you must follow these rules:

The Rules of Being an Emppuholic

1. You must agree that Emppu is a very sexy metal elf.
2. You must agree that Emppu's blond hair is very silky and soft looking.
3. The shortness is cute.
4. You must say OME - Oh my Emppu! OMT, OMM, OMA, OMJ are forbidden.
5. You must never think of Emppu and boring in the same thought. When thinking of Emppu, you cannot think boring. When thinking boring, you cannot think Emppu.
6. On sanity:
a. You must be overall insane.
b. However, you must be sane enough to be respectful to Emppu and anyone associated with him (insane is fun until it gets disrespectful).
7. Keep in mind that he is also admired for his amazing guitar playing skills, not only for his good looks.
8. If you meet Emppu and have time to talk to him, not-so-subtly hint to him (aka: TELL him VERY CLEARLY) to post on the forum in the Emppuholics Thread.

And the unspoken rule: If you see Emppu in person, you must hand him a sheet with the following list of questions on it, and make him promise to respond! He didn't answer them on Nightmail, so it's time for revenge.

The Questions

Your Name: The Emppuholics
Your Location: The Emppuholics Thread // English side
Your Question: These are submitted on behalf of the Emppuholics forum on the English side, as they are all questions that we have discussed recently. Most of all, we would like you to enjoy reading our questions, and we would love it if you could answer a few. With lots of love, the Emppuholics xxx
1. Do you mind us talking about your "optimum" height?
2. What do your toenails look like?
3. Do you have freckles, or is it just occasional bad photography?
4. Did you ever break a toe by stepping on someone's foot with your massive boots?
5. How much alcoholic substance would you say you drink per week?
6. Did you deliberately smile in one of the promo photos taken in Lithuania to kill everyone on the Emppuholics forum *swoon*?
7. If you were ever to meet some of *those crazy gals* off the Emppuholics forum would you a) run away screaming, b) try to stand your ground as they ambushed/possibly crushed you or c) very cruelly toss your hair and put your arm around your girlfriend?
8. Did you deliberately grow your hair to try and hide your handsomeness from crazy fans, or to torture them even more?
9. How thick are your fingers? Please submit your answer in millimeters, starting with the overall circumference, and then the length, starting from the center of the knuckle to fingertip.
10. Have you ever yodeled, drunkenly or otherwise?
11: We've seen pictures of you in a washing machine and a refrigerator. Do you have a death wish or do you just want to have a photo taken of you so that the girls on the Emppuholics thread can speculate on the smallest thing in their room you would fit into...?
12. You are the band's "comic relief" (in a good way of course). Is making us laugh in fact some form of revenge towards an unknown person or persons, or indeed the general public (because often you make us laugh until our stomachs hurt)?
By the way, all these questions were thought up so that it would be "your turn to have the stomach ache." We hope that you enjoy them.
Christian and/or Jarmo - even if you think these questions are exceedingly stupid or unsuitable to answer, please pass them on to Emppu anyway, just so he can have a laugh.

That being said, come join us at the exclusive Emppuholics thread on the English side of the Nightwish Forum, and we'll show you what fun is all about! ;)